Blog Series: Kitchen Remodel in Mexico – Week 6

Hola, amigos! If this is your first visit to our Kitchen Remodel in Mexico series, feel free to start at the beginning. Week 1 was rocky. Week 2 was promising. Week 3 we were undeterred. Week 4 was Opposite-Ville. Week 5 could have been worse. Let’s jump right in to Week 6.

With Tavo out of the picture, it is time to introduce a new act, Jesus Bertran. His name is pronounced “haySOOS” in Spanish, but I’ve been calling him “JEEsus” in my head. And, let me tell you, I need all the Jesus I can get right now. Brad hired Jesus to replace our hot water heater and install new toilets. 

So, I know what you are thinking — Is this THE Jesus Betran? As you probably know, there are two Jesus Bertran’s in Puerto Vallarta. The first was originally born Jesus Guadalupe Francisco Bertrando in 1959 in Tiajuana, Mexico. He ran away from home at age 14 and joined the Mexican circus as the “guess your age or weight guy.” 

After finding out he was not great at guessing anyone’s age or weight, he turned to crime, eventually leading to a brief stint in prison. He was given a choice to stay in prison or train with the Mexican Secret Service as an assassin. 

He learned 13 foreign languages and became a martial arts expert. Jesus quickly became one of the Mexican Secret Services’ most valuable and deadly assets. He even participated in some joint operations with the CIA.  

Jesus left the Service after a mission where he mistakenly took out an innocent bystander during a routine assassination assignment. Jesus swore he would never kill again and promised to spend the rest of his days making up for the violent activities of his past. He shortened his name to Jesus Guadalupe Bertran and moved to Puerto Vallarta shortly thereafter.  

Jesus used his skills to start a successful home security business and became one of Mexico’s wealthiest residents. He is now known for his philanthropy to those who are less fortunate. His outgoing personality and natural good looks make him very popular with everyone.

One year he was selected as Mexican People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive. He is considered the most interesting man in all of Mexico and lives right here in Puerto Vallarta. That’s the first Jesus Bertran.

The other Jesus Bertran is a quiet, hard-working man who does small construction jobs around town with his son. Just to eliminate any confusion, this is the Jesus we’ll be referring to from here forward.

Quick Backstory: Jesus is one of the contractors who bid on our A/C project. You will recall, we ultimately chose Hector because he had a larger crew and promised a one-week turnaround. Upon receiving the news that he did not get the A/C job, Jesus responded professionally and said he would appreciate any other opportunities we might have in the future.

Now, on to the work of Week 6.

Day 36 – Monday – July 25

During testing, Brad noticed some condensation on the air conditioning drainage lines for the ceiling units. Of course, Hector said that was normal, and it would resolve itself once the drywall was closed. 

Brad would typically take the contractor’s word for it, but not this time. Due to the numerous failures, delays, and near-misses by Hector and his team of trainees, he insisted that Hector insulate these condensation lines in the same manner as the others. 

Even Teddy was thinking, “Why would you not insulate a drain line going above your ceiling, carrying cold water through the hottest room in the condo?” Hector’s reluctance quickly disappeared, knowing that he would not convince Brad or Teddy otherwise… oh, and because he hadn’t been paid yet.

At 3:47 pm, Team Hector announced they were done. Did this really just happen? Is it too good to be true?!

Day 37 – Tuesday – July 26

Good thing I didn’t throw a parade yesterday. Team Hector returned bright and early to remove the ceiling cassettes so the drywall guy could patch the ceiling. I’m sure anyone could remove them, but as a matter of principle, Brad asked them. Hector shirked the responsibility of repairing the ceiling, so Brad wasn’t letting them off the hook for anything specifically related to the A/C – no matter how small. 

Jesus arrived around noon with two helpers and a tankless hot water heater. It was the craziest thing we’ve seen so far. They installed it, cleaned up their mess, and left for the day. There are a few follow-up items, but we had hot water for the first time in three weeks!

Team Miguel (well, just Gerardo) arrived shortly after noon to resume patching the swiss cheese ceiling. Even though Hector is gone, his legacy will live on for at least a few more days.

Day 38 – Wednesday – July 27

Team Hector arrived before 9:00 to reinstall the A/C covers in the living room. I sent Hector his final payment, so NOW we are officially finished with Hector! Balloons and confetti fell from the ceiling. Fireworks went off in the bay. It was almost too good to be true, in Who-ville.

This four-day project which took five weeks,

All units were working without any leaks?

Motors were running without any squeaks?

No more adjustments, corrections, or tweaks?

I was forced out of my Seuss-filled euphoria when two different contractors arrived to give us estimates for painting. After the kitchen is completed, we will apply a fresh coat of Sherwin Williams throughout the condo. 

With Hector out of the picture, Brad joined me in trying to get some work out of Team Miguel. You might remember that Miguel told me for over 2 weeks that he would have the plumbing and electricity relocated. Every day it is mañana. 

Brad asked him this morning if perhaps it would be better if we found our own plumber and electrician. Miguel responded that he thought it was a good idea, and he was okay with that. Brad said we would be glad to work on it and that Miguel could refund us from the funds we have already paid. If you’re thinking, “hey, that means you guys are your own general contractor for this project,” well, that thought has crossed our minds daily. 

One of the painters is well respected around the PV expat community and is actually a general contractor. After getting a quote for painting, Brad spoke to him about our kitchen project. He was respectful of Miguel (we did not disclose who was doing the work) but was shocked that our kitchen had been sitting like this for two weeks with no one actively working on it. We established a friendly rapport with him, so it looks like we have a backup plan if we can’t get Miguel back on track. We don’t want to bring in another surgeon while the patient is lying on the operating table, but who knows what will happen.

On that note, we requested an in-person meeting with Miguel. He is supposed to come over at 9:00… mañana.

Team Jesus arrived to install the new toilets. Surprise, surprise. They ran into an issue. The rough-in plumbing was not in the correct place in one of our bathrooms. Obviously, it has been in this faulty state since the building was constructed, but no one ever went to the trouble to fix it. Jesus suggested he move it to ensure we do not have future issues. So, a 30-minute project turned into an estimated 3-days of jackhammering. Super.

Day 39 – Thursday – July 28

Miguel was the first to arrive promptly at 9:00. We asked him point blank if he wanted to complete the project or refund our down payment. Miguel apologized profusely and offered a million excuses. Those excuses flew ALL over me, because I’ve been hearing them for 6 weeks straight. I didn’t yell at him but definitely lost my cool and said a few things that weren’t exactly professional. Fun fact: I’ve learned some new Spanish vocabulary words (which are not fit for polite audiences).

As always, Brad was the stable one. Don’t get me wrong, he was tough with Miguel but much calmer than me. In his “courtroom voice”, Brad said that additional delays with Miguel’s plumber were no longer an option if he wanted to keep the job. Brad strongly suggested Miguel hire Jesus to complete the plumbing work. Miguel agreed and struck a deal with Jesus. No, it’s not lost on me how odd it sounds to say someone “struck a deal with Jesus.” Insert your favorite hymn here.  

Brad also insisted that we have a status call with Miguel every morning at 11:00 (to review who showed up for work) and every evening at 6:00 (to review the day’s progress). Daily standup calls are pretty effective in the project world, so hopefully, this will help. 

Team Miguel continued patching drywall. They got a lot done but are still making a mess in every single room.

Team Jesus started jackhammering the front bathroom. They worked from 10:00 am to 6:00 pm. This is the first crew that has worked so late. Believe it or not, we would have been okay with them leaving earlier. A full eight hours of the ole jackhammer puts your nerves on end. God bless the sweet boys who are doing the work. I don’t know how they stand it. 

Day 40 – Friday – July 29

The morning call with Miguel revealed that the drywall guy had car trouble and probably won’t make it today. I tend to believe this for two reasons. First, Gerardo and his nephew have been the most reliable of Miguel’s guys, and second, I’ve seen Gerardo’s car.

Team Jesus laid on the jackhammer hot and heavy, so I started looking for any chore that required me to be away from home. I usually buy online and choose grocery delivery, but a couple of hours at Costco sounded like pure heaven.

Just as the day was winding down (the workers usually leave around 4:00), Gerardo and Isaac showed up. They added more layers to the ceiling patches and hauled off debris. On Gerardo’s way out, Brad slipped him a few extra pesos to help with his car situation.

Day 41 – Saturday – July 30

After sleeping off their jackhammer hangovers, Team Jesus arrived around 11:00. They worked for several hours on the bathroom, then declared the jackhammer portion of the work complete. Whew!

To help reduce our paranoia with all things Team Miguel, Brad requested a visit to the shop where our cabinets are being fabricated. We felt much better after he laid eyes on the equipment and wood. Some things you just have to see for yourself!

Day 42 – Sunday – July 31

DAY OFF

Recap – Week 6; Kitchen Remodel in Mexico

They were hard fought, but we finally had some wins in Week 6! New, high-efficiency air conditioning is working throughout our condo. This should help considerably with both our comfort and our electric bill. We also have hot water again. The twice-a-day calls with Miguel have improved communication. His willingness to subcontract with Jesus also gives us some hope that he is putting forth some effort. Fingers crossed we can keep this momentum!

Weekly Report Card

• Brad gets an “A.” His diligence with Hector resulted in successful completion of the A/C project.
• Teddy and I get an “C” this week. I was mean to Miguel and Teddy is fed up with the entire lot of them.
• Team Hector gets a “D.” They installed a functioning system, but left to their own devices, it would be a complete failure. Moreover, Hector attempted to switch our expensive units for cheap ones, shirked as much responsibility as possible, and was generally absent. Not that they would list us as a reference, but we do NOT recommend Mas Frio Puerto Vallarta.
• Miguel gets a “D” this week. When faced with termination, he did what was necessary to keep the job. We hope he can work with Jesus to make some progress. He is showing some promise by calling us at the designated times.
• Team Jesus gets an “A.” It was refreshing to have an experienced, competent contractor. When Jesus wasn’t physically doing the work, he was watching over his team like a hawk.